Navigating friendships in middle school can be both rewarding and extremely challenging for students. Changes such as friends drifting apart, forming new connections, or dealing with misunderstandings occur frequently at this age. As clinicians supporting students in schools, it is essential to provide both guidance and structured opportunities for students to learn how to respond when their friendships shift. Everyday Speech’s “Handling Change with Friends” activity is a practical, no-prep resource designed to guide students through these common, often emotionally charged experiences.

What Are Friendship Skills?

Friendship skills involve the ability to form, maintain, and adapt to changes within peer relationships. In a middle school setting, these skills include communicating feelings and needs, managing conflicts, understanding social cues, and coping with shifting group dynamics. Friendship skills also encompass decision-making, empathy, and resilience when navigating changes such as friends moving away, relationships evolving, or disagreements arising. The mastery of friendship skills prepares students not only to build healthy relationships in school but also supports life-long interpersonal development.

When considering what it means to handle changes with friends, the focus is on helping students acknowledge their feelings, recognize the reasons behind friendship shifts, and choose helpful, respectful responses. It is also critical to teach students that change in friendships is normal and part of healthy social growth. Activities that strengthen these skills foster a culture of openness and understanding throughout the classroom.

Why Teach Friendship Skills?

Supporting middle school students in managing changes within friendships has far-reaching benefits. Teaching these strategies:

• Encourages self-awareness and self-advocacy within peer interactions
• Reduces the likelihood of prolonged conflicts or feelings of social isolation
• Fosters resilience and adaptation during developmental transitions
• Strengthens classroom and school community by reinforcing empathy and perspective-taking
• Equips students with language to express their experiences and concerns
• Helps prevent bullying or exclusion stemming from misunderstandings
• Supports the development of problem-solving abilities related to social situations
• Promotes emotional regulation when facing disappointment, sadness, or uncertainty
• Reinforces the idea that friendships may grow or change without anyone being at fault
• Prepares students for complex relationships later in life

These outcomes contribute to a healthier, more supportive social environment in schools. Proactively teaching friendship skills helps students build confidence in managing both positive and challenging moments within their relationships.

Lesson Plan: Using Handling Change with Friends

The “Handling Change with Friends” resource from Everyday Speech offers a no-prep, discussion-oriented activity that is easy to implement with groups or individual students. The activity is structured to engage students through reflection, scenario analysis, and concrete strategy-building.

Step 1: Introduce the Topic

Begin by acknowledging that changes within friendships are a common experience in middle school. Create a safe space by normalizing the topic and inviting students to identify ways friendships can change, such as friends developing new hobbies, joining new groups, moving away, or disagreements arising. Consider asking:

• Has anyone ever noticed a change in a friendship? How did it feel?
• What are some reasons that relationships with friends might change?

This introduction helps students see that they are not alone in these experiences, setting the stage for openness and honesty throughout the lesson.

Step 2: Explore Feelings and Thoughts

Using the chart in the activity, prompt students to brainstorm and record a range of feelings and thoughts that can occur when a friendship changes. This might include feelings of sadness, confusion, anger, relief, or even excitement about new possibilities. Encourage students to share examples if they are comfortable, reinforcing that a variety of emotions are valid and expected.

Discuss how different feelings can affect behavior and choices. For example, feeling left out might make someone withdraw, while feeling confused could prompt someone to ask questions or seek help. This allows students to build awareness of their emotional processes, an important step in responding thoughtfully rather than reactively.

Step 3: Analyze Scenarios

The activity provides relevant scenarios for discussion and problem-solving. Read each scenario aloud or have students take turns reading. Examples of scenarios include:

• Your friend starts sitting with a new group at lunch and does not invite you.
• A close friend moves to a new school, and your communication shifts.
• A friend is spending more time with someone else and less with you.

After each scenario, ask students guiding questions such as:

• What feelings might someone have in this situation?
• What thoughts could come up?
• What are some choices or actions someone could take that would help them cope well with the situation?

Work with students to identify both immediate reactions and more thoughtful responses. Discuss the difference between helpful responses, such as asking the friend how they’re doing, reaching out to new peers, or speaking with a trusted adult, and unhelpful ones that might make the situation harder, like spreading rumors or retaliating.

Step 4: Build a Toolbox of Helpful Responses

The activity encourages students to brainstorm and list constructive ways to handle friendship changes. Facilitate a discussion that helps students generate these actions, such as:

• Communicating openly with friends about feelings
• Trying to understand the other person’s perspective
• Giving friendships space to change or grow
• Seeking support from other friends or adults
• Engaging in self-care activities to manage strong emotions
• Meeting new people while keeping old friends when possible

Create a group poster or individual toolboxes students can refer to throughout the year. Practicing or role-playing these strategies helps strengthen skills and build confidence in using them during real situations.

Step 5: Personal Reflection and Goal Setting

As a closure to this lesson, invite students to reflect on their own friendships. Using prompts from the resource or questions such as, “Is there a friendship in your life that has changed? How did you handle it? What would you do differently next time?” allows for individualized processing and the opportunity to set personal goals. This can be a written exercise, a private journal entry, or a small group conversation, depending on the needs and comfort levels of your students.

Supporting Friendship Skills After the Activity

Building robust friendship skills requires ongoing support beyond a single lesson. In the weeks following this activity, consider employing the following strategies to reinforce learning:

• Check in with students about their friendship experiences, especially if you are aware of current changes or challenges among peers.
• Provide opportunities for continued practice, such as regular “circle time” check-ins or classroom discussions that highlight respectful communication and conflict management.
• Integrate friendship skills language into other areas of curriculum. For example, literature lessons can include analysis of characters’ relationships and how they handle change.
• Encourage teachers and other staff to model healthy ways of navigating relationship shifts, sharing age-appropriate examples.
• Provide resources or access to counseling for students who may need additional support, especially if changes trigger significant distress.
• Continue to celebrate kindness, flexibility, and resilience throughout the school day.

Consistency, patience, and a supportive environment are essential as students strengthen these skills and navigate real-life friendship challenges.

Wrapping Up: Empowering Middle Schoolers for Friendship Success

Guiding middle school students through changes in their friendships is one of the most impactful ways clinicians and educators can support social development. Students who are given the language, strategies, and safe spaces to process these changes tend to experience less isolation and more positive outcomes as relationships evolve. Everyday Speech’s “Handling Change with Friends” resource makes it simple to deliver structured, supportive instruction, whether working with a whole class, a small group, or individual students. When adults provide regular opportunities for guided reflection and practical skill-building, students learn to weather friendship changes with resilience and adaptability. Supporting this growth not only strengthens individual confidence but also contributes to a more compassionate, understanding school community. For a no-prep, educator-friendly tool designed specifically for these conversations, download the “Handling Change with Friends” activity here and begin building lifelong friendship skills with confidence.