The elementary school years are a pivotal time for developing foundational skills that allow students to succeed socially and academically. One of the most valuable abilities students can learn at this stage is staying calm during difficult moments. Emotional regulation forms the bedrock of successful relationships, positive classroom participation, and independent problem-solving.

Related resources: See our full list of social skills lessons.

For school-based clinicians, supporting students in managing their feelings and harnessing strategies to stay calm helps create a classroom environment where all learners can thrive. The Emotion and Solution Choice Bar, a no-prep activity from Everyday Speech, offers a practical and interactive approach to teaching students how to identify what they are feeling and select strategies to regain composure.

What Is Staying Calm?

Staying calm refers to the ability to manage emotional reactions, especially during moments of stress, frustration, or disappointment. In a classroom setting, this might mean keeping one’s body and voice in control after losing a turn, getting a poor grade, or feeling left out during an activity. For elementary-aged students, staying calm looks like pausing before responding to a trigger, using words to express feelings, and reaching for positive coping tools before outbursts escalate.

At the heart of staying calm is the skill of self-regulation. This skill involves noticing internal cues like a fast heartbeat, clenched fists, or teary eyes, and using specific strategies to calm down before the emotions become overwhelming. Developing these skills supports students in making thoughtful, safe choices and enhances their ability to engage in classroom routines. Staying calm also improves peer interactions, reduces instances of conflict, and creates a foundation for resilience in challenging situations.

Why Teach Staying Calm?

• Reduces disruptive behaviors, supporting a safe and orderly classroom environment.
• Strengthens students’ capacity to handle challenges, frustrations, or changes in routine.
• Fosters independence by teaching children to manage their own emotions rather than depending entirely on adults to resolve issues.
• Promotes positive interactions with peers and adults, as calm responses often lead to better outcomes in social situations.
• Prepares students for successful problem-solving, decision-making, and conflict resolution.
• Increases learning time by minimizing time spent on emotional outbursts or recovery.
• Supports mental health by encouraging strategies that relieve stress and anxiety.

Teaching strategies for staying calm empowers students to advocate for themselves and provides them with tools that can be used far beyond the classroom walls.

Lesson Plan: Using Emotion and Solution Choice Bar

The Emotion and Solution Choice Bar serves as an accessible and visual tool for instruction. This no-prep PDF activity helps students identify their current feeling, choose an effective calming strategy, and reflect on the outcome. It can be downloaded from Everyday Speech here: Emotion and Solution Choice Bar Activity.

Step 1: Introduce the Concept of Staying Calm

Begin by leading a discussion about emotions that often disrupt classroom participation or cause challenges with peers. Use concrete language: “What happens in your body when you feel upset or frustrated? What does your face look like? How does your body feel?” Allow students to name situations that make them feel upset and notice any physical signs.

Set the frame by stating the goal: students will learn how to notice their feelings and practice strategies to help themselves stay calm, even in tough moments.

Step 2: Preview the Emotion and Solution Choice Bar

Hand out the Emotion and Solution Choice Bar PDF to each student or display it using a projector. Point out the two main sections:

• The top bar features a range of common emotions represented by facial icons and labels, such as mad, sad, worried, or frustrated.
• The bottom bar lists a variety of calming strategy options (e.g., count to 10, take deep breaths, get a drink of water, ask for help). Each solution is paired with an inviting image or visual.

Explain how the bar can serve as a “menu” for emotional awareness and strategy selection. Students first pick how they feel, then select a strategy that they think will help them feel more comfortable or in control.

Step 3: Model the Tool With a Scenario

Choose a relatable classroom event. For example: “You studied hard for a spelling test but did not get the grade you hoped for.” Use think-aloud narration:

1. Point to the emotion that matches how someone might feel (such as disappointed or mad).
2. Place a finger or marker under the selected emotion.
3. Move to the solution choices and talk through which strategy might help. Select one, such as “take three deep breaths,” and describe giving it a try.
4. Discuss the next steps. “After using this strategy, does your body feel different? Are you able to talk to someone about how you feel or go back to your desk calmly?”

Invite students to role-play this process. This direct modeling provides clarity and helps students see how the tool is useful in real time.

Step 4: Guided Practice With Student Scenarios

Ask students to think of a time recently when they felt upset, frustrated, or worried at school. With the handout or projected image, have them silently point to or circle the emotion(s) they experienced.

Then, prompt students to review the solution bar and select one or two strategies that could help in that situation. Invite several volunteers to share their scenarios and chosen strategies. Discuss whether those strategies could work for different situations or if some strategies are better than others for certain emotions.

Normalize the idea that not every strategy will work every time. Emphasize that trying different options helps students discover what supports them best.

Step 5: Independent or Partner Use

Allow time for students to use the Choice Bar independently or in pairs. Consider real or hypothetical scenarios such as “being left out of a game,” “forgetting homework,” or “having an argument with a friend.”

Students practice selecting their emotion and then identifying a strategy to try, either through coloring, moving a clip, or simply pointing on their handout. Encourage brief reflection after using a calming strategy, such as writing or drawing how they felt before and after.

Step 6: Group Debrief and Reinforcement

Facilitate a group discussion to review which strategies students enjoyed or found helpful. Reiterate the process: recognize the emotion, choose a calming solution, and notice how things change. Affirm that practicing with these tools now helps in future moments of big feelings.

Offer praise for effort and reflect on the shared experience. Repeat that using the Emotion and Solution Choice Bar is a positive step toward feeling better and solving problems safely.

Supporting Staying Calm After the Activity

Building the ability to stay calm takes ongoing practice and reinforcement. To continue supporting this skill after using the Emotion and Solution Choice Bar, consider these suggestions:

• Post laminated copies of the Choice Bar in common areas or at student desks for visual reminders.
• Prompt students to use the chart when they come to you with a problem, guiding them to identify their feeling and select a tool before discussing the issue.
• Reinforce the process during whole-class transitions, after recess, or before assessments when emotions can run high.
• Involve classroom teachers by providing them a copy and suggesting language such as, “Which feeling matches how you’re feeling? What could you try from the bar to help you?”
• Encourage families to use similar language and visuals at home, fostering continuity across settings.
• Reinforce successes when you notice a student using one of the calming strategies independently. Verbal praise such as, “I noticed you took deep breaths when you were frustrated. That’s using your strategy,” helps reinforce the habit.

Integrating the Emotion and Solution Choice Bar into daily routines normalizes emotional awareness and coping strategy use. Over time, students will internalize the process and turn to these tools more automatically.

Wrapping Up: Cultivating Self-Regulation With Everyday Tools

Teaching elementary students to notice their feelings and select strategies to stay calm is a critical investment in their growth. Practical tools like the Emotion and Solution Choice Bar promote self-reflection, independence, and positive problem-solving. Consistent practice with the Choice Bar expands students’ emotional vocabulary and provides effective coping strategies.

For clinicians and educators, embedding activities like this within daily routines not only reduces classroom disruptions but also helps students become more resilient and adaptable. The act of naming an emotion and reaching for a positive strategy transforms challenges into learning opportunities. Encouraging students to use the tool independently—and celebrating their progress—reinforces the development of lifelong self-regulation skills. The Choice Bar equips young learners with tangible methods to manage big feelings, foster stronger relationships, and build a more supportive classroom climate.