Developing self-regulation in early learners is foundational for lifelong success in the classroom and beyond. Many preschool and kindergarten students are just beginning to acquire skills for managing impulses and emotions. To support growth in these areas, Everyday Speech offers no-prep resources designed for young children. One such activity, “How I Keep Self-Control,” invites students to practice sequencing the steps involved in using their Self-Controller. This article provides a detailed approach for using this interactive PDF and offers ideas for extending learning throughout the day.

What Is Using Your Self-Controller?

The ability to use a Self-Controller refers to a child’s process of managing emotions, actions, and reactions in the moment. For young children, this often involves learning to wait patiently, follow directions, and express feelings with words. Everyday Speech introduces the concept with concrete, accessible steps, making it relevant for early learners with developing language skills.

Related resources: See our full list of social skills lessons.

In the “How I Keep Self-Control” activity, the process is broken down into small, manageable steps. Students learn to recognize a situation where self-control is needed, pause before reacting, and make positive choices even when it is difficult. By arranging the visual cards from the picture bank into the correct sequence, children begin to internalize the order of actions that help them regulate their behavior.

Why Teach Using Your Self-Controller?

Focusing on the skill of using a Self-Controller provides many benefits for young students. Introducing this concept explicitly helps children name and eventually use strategies for challenging situations in the classroom or at home. Reasons to teach this skill include:

• Encourages safe and respectful classroom behavior
• Promotes positive interactions with peers and adults
• Reduces impulsive actions that can disrupt learning
• Builds the foundation for later problem-solving skills
• Helps children recognize and label their own emotions
• Supports the development of independence and confidence
• Assists with transitions and unexpected changes

As clinicians and educators know, self-regulation cannot be assumed or left to chance. Consistent, guided practice across daily routines builds the muscle that children need to navigate challenges.

Lesson Plan: Using How I Keep Self-Control

For clinicians, counselors, or teachers working with preschool and kindergarten students, the “How I Keep Self-Control” PDF offers an engaging structure for teaching self-regulation. The resource is available for download here. This activity is especially useful during small-group sessions, as a center, or as part of a mini-lesson on expected behaviors.

Step 1: Introduce the Concept of Self-Control

Begin the lesson by briefly discussing the meaning of self-control. For young children, use simple language and concrete examples, such as:

• “Self-control means stopping and thinking before we do something.”
• “When we use self-control, we can follow directions even if we want to keep playing.”
• “Everyone has a Self-Controller inside. We use it like a pause button.”

Visuals, puppets, or gestures can reinforce these ideas. Some educators choose to introduce the terms “Body Controller” or “Brain Controller” as playful ways to remind students of the skill. Connecting this to familiar classroom routines, such as lining up or waiting for a turn, helps learners make personal connections.

To further anchor the concept, consider showing a short video modeling self-control or reading a storybook that demonstrates someone using their Self-Controller in a relatable situation. Allow time for students to share moments when they practiced waiting or calming down.

Step 2: Introduce the Activity

Show the “How I Keep Self-Control” interactive PDF to students, either on a smartboard or printed out as cards. Explain that together, you will look at pictures showing steps a child might take to use self-control. The goal is to put the pictures in the right order, showing how to use the Self-Controller from start to finish.

Highlight that everyone sometimes feels big feelings or wants to do something right away, but that stopping to think helps us make good choices.

Step 3: Complete the Sequencing Activity Together

Present the cards from the picture bank provided in the PDF. The images represent key moments in the self-control process. For example, they may depict a child:

• Recognizing a tricky situation (someone takes their toy, someone asks them to wait)
• Pausing and taking a deep breath
• Thinking about possible choices (hitting or asking for help)
• Using words to solve the problem
• Feeling proud of making a good choice

Guide your group in talking through each card. Prompt with questions like:

• “What is happening in this picture?”
• “How do you think the child feels right now?”
• “What could the child do next?”

Allow students to move or drag the cards to show the correct sequence. Ask them to explain their reasoning.

As students make their selections, provide positive feedback for careful thinking and considering others’ ideas. Model thinking aloud: “First, I notice I am feeling mad. Next, I take a deep breath.” Reinforce that the order matters when making safe and helpful choices.

After sequencing the cards, review as a group. Discuss why this order helps someone keep self-control and what might happen if steps are skipped.

Step 4: Practice and Reflect

Invite students to practice using their Self-Controller with role-play scenarios or peer modeling. Set up short situations, such as being asked to wait, sharing materials, or coping with disappointment.

Support students in identifying the first step: noticing their feelings or the challenge. Prompt them to try the steps from the sequencing activity.

Afterward, ask students to reflect:

• “What helped you use self-control?”
• “Was it hard to wait?”
• “How did you feel afterwards?”

Step 5: Wrap-Up and Extend

Summarize the activity. Emphasize that using the Self-Controller is something everyone is still learning, including adults. Encourage students to notice when they used their Self-Controller later in the day. If possible, distribute a copy of the sequencing cards for students to take home and share with caregivers.

Supporting Using Your Self-Controller After the Activity

The gains made during a single lesson are maximized through repeated practice and reinforcement. There are many opportunities across the school day to cue and support the use of self-control:

• Post visuals or the Self-Controller steps in the classroom as reminders
• Praise and name the strategy when a student demonstrates self-control
• Offer gentle prompts: “What’s the first step in using your Self-Controller?”
• Practice the steps together before challenging times, like transitions or unstructured activities
• Create stories or puppets that model using self-control in common classroom challenges

Consistent use of language and visuals ensures students know expectations and can access strategies when emotions are high. Incorporating self-control sequences into everyday routines, such as morning meetings or closing circles, keeps skills fresh. It also helps students learn that everyone in the community values calm and respectful solutions.

Families can be partners in skill-building. Sharing the activity and language with caregivers encourages use at home, creating consistency for the child. Some professionals find it useful to send home a note describing the skill and examples of ways to practice using the Self-Controller outside of school.

Wrapping Up: Building Lifelong Self-Regulation Skills in Early Learners

The “How I Keep Self-Control” interactive sequencing activity offers clinicians and educators an evidence-informed way to teach and reinforce key self-regulation skills. By breaking down actions into clear, visual steps, young children can understand, remember, and apply the idea of using their Self-Controller when challenges arise.

Supporting these skills consistently across settings gives children the stability and repetition they need to gain confidence. With practice, preschool and kindergarten students can begin to manage emotions, use problem-solving language, and foster positive relationships with peers. The investment in early self-regulation instruction pays dividends for school readiness and long-term success.

For additional resources and to download the “How I Keep Self-Control” activity, visit the Everyday Speech activity download page.