Self-advocacy is the ability to understand and communicate one’s own needs, preferences, and rights. For neurodivergent students, this skill is critical—not only in education but in relationships, work, and daily life.

Too often, traditional social skills instruction prioritizes compliance over autonomy, teaching students to conform to neurotypical expectations rather than equipping them with the tools to express themselves confidently. A self-advocacy approach shifts this focus, helping students:

• Identify their needs and emotions.
• Ask for accommodations or support.
• Set boundaries and express discomfort.
• Navigate real-world challenges like IEP meetings, friendships, and the workplace.

When students can advocate for themselves, they develop greater independence, self-confidence, and resilience, allowing them to navigate life on their own terms.

Why Self-Advocacy is Better Than Compliance

For decades, social skills education for neurodivergent students has been framed around “fixing” deficits—teaching students how to fit into neurotypical environments by mimicking expected behaviors. This often includes:

• Making eye contact.
• Using scripted greetings.
• Adapting to social norms, even if uncomfortable.

While these strategies might help students blend in, they do not support long-term success. Many neurodivergent individuals find that suppressing their natural behaviors (also known as masking) leads to burnout, anxiety, and difficulty forming authentic connections.

A self-advocacy approach shifts the focus:

• Instead of teaching forced eye contact, we teach students how to communicate in ways that feel comfortable (e.g., using visual referencing, and nodding).
• Instead of enforcing scripted greetings, we empower students to initiate social interactions on their terms.
• Instead of pushing compliance, we support personal agency and decision-making.

This shift ensures that students are prepared for real-world success—not by pretending to be someone they’re not, but by communicating their needs confidently and effectively.

How Video Modeling Helps Teach Self-Advocacy

One of the most effective ways to teach self-advocacy skills is through video modeling. Research shows that watching real-life examples helps neurodivergent students:

• Observe self-advocacy skills in action.
• See different ways to communicate needs.
• Reinforce concepts through repetition.

A study conducted at the University of Texas at Austin found that video modeling interventions significantly improved self-advocacy skills in autistic college students, helping them gain confidence in real-world interactions. Participants in the study:

• Quickly learned self-advocacy strategies.
• Maintained these skills over time.
• Found the intervention helpful and empowering.

Example Resources for Teaching Self-Advocacy with Video Modeling

At Everyday Speech, video modeling is a core part of our curriculum, with lessons designed to:

• Show students how to advocate for themselves in school, work, and friendships.
• Provide multiple approaches to self-expression and boundary-setting.
• Reinforce that there is no single “right” way to communicate.

This method helps students develop practical skills in a way that is engaging, affirming, and easy to apply in daily life. Here are two examples:

1. Recognizing and Communicating Needs

In this clip, you’ll see how video modeling can help students learn how to advocate for their unique needs:

2. Understanding My IEP

This full video lesson guides students through understanding their Individualized Education Program (IEP), highlighting its purpose, components, and the importance of self-advocacy in customizing their educational experience:

You can also download the companion worksheet here → 

Steps for Integrating Self-Advocacy into Teaching

Educators and support teams can embed self-advocacy training into daily instruction by following these steps:

1. Teaching Students to Identify Their Needs

Before students can advocate for themselves, they need to recognize their own needs, triggers, and comfort levels. This can be done through:

• Emotion check-ins: Have students name their feelings and what they need in that moment.
• Sensory awareness activities: Help students identify what environments help them focus or regulate emotions.
• Role-playing scenarios: Guide students through different real-life situations where they might need to self-advocate.

2. Normalizing Asking for Support

Self-advocacy skills should be modeled and reinforced in a positive way. Instead of viewing accommodations as “special treatment,” encourage students to see them as tools for success. Some ways to do this include:

• Explicitly teaching request phrases: (“I need a break,” “Can you explain that in a different way?”)
• Providing multiple response formats: Let students write, use AAC, or signal their needs instead of requiring verbal communication.
• Celebrating self-advocacy wins: Acknowledge and praise when students effectively communicate their needs.

3. Incorporate Video Modeling and Real-World Practice

• Show real-life examples of self-advocacy in action through video lessons.
• Encourage students to practice advocating for themselves in low-pressure settings, such as IEP meetings, class discussions, or small groups.
• Reinforce self-advocacy as an ongoing process—not something students have to master overnight.

4. Shift from Compliance to Autonomy

Many students have been conditioned to follow rules without questioning them. Instead, foster decision-making skills by:

• Encouraging students to say “no” when they are uncomfortable.
• Helping them problem-solve when their needs aren’t met immediately.
• Giving them opportunities to voice their preferences and make choices in learning environments.

Final Thoughts: Self-Advocacy as a Lifelong Skill

Teaching self-advocacy isn’t just about helping students in the classroom—it’s about preparing them for lifelong success. Whether navigating friendships, workplaces, or personal relationships, the ability to communicate needs and advocate for oneself is one of the most valuable skills neurodivergent students can develop.

By integrating self-advocacy into everyday instruction, we move beyond compliance and give students the tools they need to thrive—not by forcing them to fit in, but by empowering them to navigate the world as their authentic selves.