Perspective taking forms the backbone of healthy relationships, strong communication, and inclusive school communities. Elementary-aged students are still developing the ability to recognize that others can have thoughts, feelings, and experiences that differ from their own.

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Teaching children to use ‘I Feel’ statements with family members is a practical, age-appropriate approach to laying this groundwork. Everyday Speech’s no-prep PDF lesson, ‘Using “I Feel” Statements with Family,’ makes it easy for educators, therapists, and counselors to introduce and practice this vital skill.

This foundational skill is essential to forming situational awareness and fostering positive interactions, not just between peers but within family relationships as well.

What Is Perspective Taking?

Perspective taking is the ability to recognize and consider another person’s thoughts, feelings, and viewpoints alongside or instead of one’s own. In elementary grades, this skill expands from concrete recognition—such as noticing when a friend looks sad—to a more nuanced understanding, like recognizing that a parent’s tiredness may not be personal.

For children, developing perspective taking means learning to pause, wonder about others’ intentions or feelings, and adjust their words or actions accordingly. It also includes learning how to voice their own perspective clearly and kindly so others can respond.

In practical terms, perspective taking involves:

• Recognizing when someone is experiencing an emotion.
• Guessing what could have caused that emotion.
• Predicting how that person might react or what they might need.
• Reflecting on how one’s own actions or words play a role.
• Using language tools, such as ‘I Feel’ statements, that clarify both perspectives.

For family relationships, strong perspective taking reduces misunderstandings and helps children advocate for themselves in a respectful manner.

Why Teach Perspective Taking?

Explicit instruction in perspective taking is a proactive way to promote empathy, problem-solving, and positive communication, especially in environments where children may need extra support understanding others’ feelings and intentions.

Some main benefits include:

• Increasing empathy toward parents, siblings, and caregivers
• Supporting the development of conflict resolution tools for disagreements at home
• Reducing impulsive or unkind responses by encouraging children to pause and consider others’ perspectives
• Encouraging clearer communication of needs, wants, and feelings
• Teaching language structures (‘I Feel’ statements) for navigating tricky conversations
• Fostering a greater sense of safety and belonging within families
• Providing children with lifelong communication skills to use beyond school

By embedding this skill early, children are equipped not only to get along better at home but also within their classroom communities.

Lesson Plan: Using ‘I Feel’ Statements with Family

This section outlines a step-by-step guide for using the Everyday Speech ‘Using “I Feel” Statements with Family’ PDF lesson. The material is designed for elementary learners and is appropriate for one-on-one sessions, small groups, or even as a whole-class activity to extend learning beyond the school setting.

Step 1: Set the Stage for Perspective Taking

Begin by introducing the concept of perspective taking in concrete, relatable language. For example, “Sometimes, other people think or feel differently than we do. We can try to understand their point of view by imagining what it might be like to be them.”

Encourage students to give simple examples: “How might your sibling feel if you take their favorite toy?” or “How would you feel if you had to share your dessert?”

Reinforcement activities could include sharing a brief story or real-life situation to help frame how recognizing others’ feelings improves communication and reduces conflict.

Step 2: Introduce ‘I Feel’ Statements

Explain that ‘I Feel’ statements are a tool for clearly and kindly sharing one’s feelings and needs. These statements usually follow a pattern:

• “I feel [emotion] when [event happens] because [reason].”

Offer several simple examples:

• “I feel sad when my brother turns off the TV because I was watching my favorite show.”
• “I feel frustrated when no one listens to me because I want to share my idea.”

Discuss with students why this structure is helpful. Point out that it makes it easier for others to understand what happened and why it matters, reducing blame and inviting a caring response.

Step 3: Guided Practice with the PDF Resource

Provide each student with a copy of the Everyday Speech ‘Using “I Feel” Statements with Family’ lesson. The lesson includes clear, student-friendly directions and illustrated examples.

Work together through the first page. Review the scenarios provided within the resource, focusing on situations children may encounter at home (such as disagreements over chores, sharing space, or requesting help).

Model the process by reading a scenario aloud and thinking through it alongside students. Encourage them to:

• Identify the two perspectives in the situation (the student’s and the family member’s)
• Use the ‘I Feel’ statement structure to communicate their feelings
• Consider how sharing their feelings with a family member might lead to a positive outcome

Allow students time to complete the activities or graphic organizers in the lesson, supporting them as needed with words for various emotions (happy, annoyed, disappointed, left out, excited, etc.).

Step 4: Role Playing

After students have practiced using written ‘I Feel’ statements, facilitate short role-play activities. Pair students and assign them a scenario (from the PDF or generated together) involving a common family interaction. Each student gets a chance to voice their feelings using the ‘I Feel’ format, then switch roles.

For example:

Scenario: Your parent asks you to turn off your video game during dinner.

• Student: “I feel disappointed when I’m asked to stop my game because I’m close to winning.”
• Parent (adult/peer role): “I hear you feel disappointed. It’s dinner time and I want us to eat together.”

These role plays allow practice in both expressing and acknowledging perspectives, strengthening understanding on both sides.

Step 5: Reflect and Plan for Home

To close the lesson, facilitate a group discussion or ask students to complete a reflection prompt:

• Identify a situation at home where they could use an ‘I Feel’ statement.
• Predict how a family member might react.
• Brainstorm ways to listen to a family member’s feelings, too.

Encourage students to take their completed worksheet home or refer to the resource link here so that families can practice this strategy together.

Supporting Perspective Taking After the Activity

Reinforcement of perspective taking does not end with a single lesson. Ongoing supports help students generalize skills across settings and interactions. Some suggestions for reinforcing this skill include:

• Check-ins: Begin sessions or lessons with a quick “How are you feeling today?” round, inviting students to use the ‘I Feel’ statement format.
• Visual reminders: Display charts of ‘I Feel’ statements or emotion vocabulary in classrooms or therapy rooms.
• Home-school communication: Send home family prompts or discussion starters that encourage the use of perspective taking language.
• Literature connections: Read picture books featuring characters with different viewpoints and discuss perspectives.
• Praise effort: Notice and affirm any student who attempts to consider another’s point of view, even if the attempt is imperfect.
• Collaborative problem-solving: During peer disagreements, facilitate both sides expressing their thoughts and feelings before brainstorming solutions.

By embedding these supports into everyday routines, students receive repeated practice and feedback, leading to increased confidence and skill mastery.

Wrapping Up: Building Bridges Through Perspective Taking

When students are taught how to identify, express, and validate both their own feelings and the perspectives of others, they are set up for more effective communication and deeper, more meaningful relationships.

Teaching ‘I Feel’ statements in the context of family interactions offers a familiar, supportive environment for children to take social risks and develop new habits. The Everyday Speech no-prep PDF activity provides a simple starting point for school-based clinicians and educators to build lasting skills.

Continued reinforcement, through home connections and daily classroom routines, will help children internalize perspective taking as a natural and valued part of their interactions—one that fosters respect, understanding, and healthy problem-solving well beyond the elementary school years.