Navigating disagreements is a vital part of developing strong interpersonal relationships, especially for middle schoolers. During this time, peers and friendship groups become increasingly important, and students often have their first experiences with complex social dynamics. Everyday Speech’s How to Disagree with a Friend Activity offers a structured, no-prep way to teach respectful communication during disagreements—a skill that extends beyond the classroom into lifelong relationships.

What Is Showing Respect?

Showing respect means acknowledging the thoughts, feelings, and opinions of others, even when they differ from one’s own. In the context of school behavior, demonstrating respect involves listening attentively, using polite language, and recognizing boundaries. For middle schoolers, these moments often occur during debates, group work, or spontaneous peer conversations. Showing respect is crucial when disagreements arise because it helps students navigate differences without damaging relationships.

Being able to disagree peacefully with a friend requires more than simply knowing the right words to say. It involves self-awareness, self-control, and empathy—all foundational elements in any positive school climate. When students practice showing respect, especially amid disagreement, they become better equipped to avoid conflict escalation, resolve misunderstandings, and build a safe, inclusive environment.

Why Teach Showing Respect?

For middle school students, there are many benefits to explicitly teaching respectful disagreement:

• Reinforces healthy communication skills and active listening.
• Reduces incidents of peer conflict and misunderstandings.
• Builds self-control and emotional regulation when opinions differ.
• Prepares students for teamwork and collaboration.
• Supports the development of empathy by encouraging students to see different perspectives.
• Fosters a positive classroom and school climate.
• Equips students with strategies for maintaining relationships even when they have differing viewpoints.
• Promotes confidence in advocating for oneself politely.

Explicitly teaching how to show respect gives students clear language and models to rely on in challenging social moments. The How to Disagree with a Friend Activity provides concrete, scaffolded practice in these skills so students are prepared before conflict arises in real-life situations.

Lesson Plan: Using How to Disagree with a Friend Activity

Everyday Speech’s How to Disagree with a Friend Activity, available as a downloadable PDF here, is designed for direct, small-group instruction or classroom-based guidance sessions. The activity uses relatable cartoon scenarios, sentence starters, and discussion prompts tailored for middle schoolers. Here’s a breakdown for using the tool most effectively.

Step 1: Set the Stage

Begin by introducing the objective for the session: practicing how to disagree with a friend respectfully. Explain why this is an important life skill. To establish relevance, invite students to share a time when they disagreed with someone close, such as a friend, and how it made them feel. Use these opening comments to highlight that disagreements happen to everyone, but how one responds can make a big difference.

Frame the activity as a safe space for practicing new strategies. Clarify that respectful disagreement preserves relationships and shows maturity. Emphasize that students are not expected to avoid disagreement, but rather to handle it thoughtfully.

Step 2: Review Respectful Disagreement Skills

Open the How to Disagree with a Friend Activity PDF. Walk through the included discussion of what respectful disagreement sounds and looks like. Cover key points:

• Use a calm tone of voice.
• Listen carefully before responding.
• Use polite language, such as “I hear what you’re saying, but I see it differently…”
• Avoid put-downs, sarcasm, or dismissive gestures.
• Stay focused on the topic instead of making it personal.

If time allows, role play a quick non-example, such as rolling eyes or interrupting, and discuss how it feels to be on the receiving end. Let students identify why it did not feel respectful. Then, replay the scenario with the group generating ways to improve it using the guidelines from the activity.

Step 3: Scenario Exploration

Present one or more of the cartoon scenarios from the downloadable resource. Examples may include disagreements about a group project approach, differing lunch choices, or clashing opinions on favorite games. For each scenario:

• Ask students to read (or listen to) the cartoon dialogue.
• Pause to discuss: What was the disagreement, and how did each friend handle it?
• Identify what was or was not respectful in each response.
• Encourage students to brainstorm alternative respectful statements.

As the facilitator, guide the conversation using prompts from the PDF. Reinforce positive examples of tone, word choice, and emotional regulation. For some groups, having students identify the feelings experienced by both parties can deepen understanding.

Step 4: Practice with Sentence Starters

Proceed to the section featuring respectful sentence starters. The activity includes phrases like:

• “I see what you mean, but I think…”
• “I have a different opinion. Can I explain?”
• “Let’s try to find a solution we both like.”

Have students pair up or form small triads. Assign a disagreement topic from the resource or allow students to select a safe, neutral topic relevant to their interests. Each student then practices expressing their viewpoint using one or more sentence starters while the partner responds respectfully.

After a few rounds, regroup to share observations. Invite students to discuss how it felt to use these phrases and whether it made the conversation smoother. Reinforce that practice leads to confidence.

Step 5: Reflection and Debrief

Close the activity with a group reflection. Use prompts such as:

• What was easy about disagreeing respectfully? What was more difficult?
• Did anyone discover a new way to express disagreement?
• How might these skills help with friends, teachers, or family members?

Emphasize that respectful disagreement is not about always reaching agreement, but about keeping relationships strong. If time allows, encourage students to create a personal “Respectful Disagreement Toolkit” using their favorite sentence starters or strategies from the session.

Supporting Showing Respect After the Activity

Practicing respectful disagreement in isolation is just the beginning. Ongoing support ensures skills carry over into daily life. Consider these strategies for generalization and reinforcement:

• Post sentence starters in the classroom or common areas as everyday reminders.
• Reference the cartoon scenarios in group problem-solving discussions when classroom disagreements arise.
• Create a respectful disagreement “challenge” for the week, encouraging students to share positive experiences with trusted adults or peers.
• Coordinate with teachers across subjects to reinforce consistent expectations for respectful dialogue during group work and debates.
• Encourage staff to model these skills in their own interactions with students and colleagues.
• Support students who struggle by reviewing these strategies privately, using visuals or personalized scripts from the activity resource.
• Use check-ins or exit slips to quickly gauge how students feel about using these skills in real life.

Family involvement can extend skill-building beyond school hours. Consider sending a summary of sentence starters and respectful disagreement tips home. Invite families to discuss how respectful disagreement looks at home and to practice these skills using everyday situations.

Wrapping Up: Fostering Lasting Respect through Every Interaction

Teaching middle school students to show respect during disagreement is a powerful investment in classroom culture and student well-being. The How to Disagree with a Friend Activity equips students with the tools and language they need to navigate challenging conversations while maintaining healthy relationships. Clinicians, teachers, and support staff play a critical role by actively modeling respectful discussion and creating practice opportunities.

When students understand how to express different opinions kindly, they gain confidence and resilience that supports them well beyond the school setting. Layering structured practice, visual supports, and ongoing reinforcement creates a foundation for lifelong respectful communication. The more these skills are woven into daily instruction and interactions, the stronger the learning community becomes for every student.