The holiday season brings unique excitement and challenges for high school students, making it an ideal time for clinicians and educators to reinforce self-regulation strategies. The transition to winter break, changes in school routines, and a host of social gatherings can increase emotional intensity for teens. Many students benefit from explicit modeling and practice in using self-control tools in real-world settings, especially when holidays disrupt familiar structures.

Related resources: See our full list of social skills lessons.

Everyday Speech’s no-prep printable, “Using our Self-Controller at the Holidays,” provides a practical and structured way to help students rehearse and reflect on essential regulation skills. Ultimately, supporting students in these moments builds habits that benefit them year-round.

What Is Using Your Self-Controller?

“Using Your Self-Controller” is a skill grounded in self-regulation. Self-regulation refers to the ability to manage one’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in a wide range of situations. In high school, this translates to recognizing emotional triggers, practicing strategies to pause before reacting, and making choices that align with one’s goals or values. The concept of a “Self-Controller” serves as a concrete visual and cognitive strategy, helping students picture themselves as being able to “dial up” or “dial down” their reactions based on what is helpful in a situation. Embedding this skill within the context of holiday events, where triggers and temptations abound, offers a relatable and meaningful way for students to build stronger self-management.

Using the Self-Controller involves:

• Noticing when emotions or impulses are rising
• Pressing an internal “pause button” before reacting
• Choosing a coping or calming strategy
• Reflecting on the outcome and making adjustments as needed

The goal is not about suppressing emotions or never struggling. Instead, it’s about recognizing moments when conscious choices can prevent problems, support relationships, and lead to positive outcomes.

Why Teach Using Your Self-Controller?

Adolescence is a time when students encounter new freedoms, responsibilities, and social dynamics. The holiday season, with its disruptions and opportunities, often surfaces common self-control challenges. When taught proactively, the skill of using a Self-Controller provides students with a lifelong toolkit. Key reasons to incorporate this instruction include:

• Empowers students to make thoughtful rather than impulsive decisions
• Reduces conflicts with peers, family, and staff
• Supports academic engagement even during distracting or unstructured times
• Builds reflection and responsibility for personal actions
• Decreases stress by providing a sense of agency over emotions and behaviors
• Fosters stronger relationships through respectful, considered communication
• Prepares students for varied future environments (work, community, independent living)

Focusing on these skills around holidays helps students generalize them beyond the classroom and into daily life where supports may be less immediately available.

Lesson Plan: Using Our Self-Controller at the Holidays

Everyday Speech’s printable activity, “Using our Self-Controller at the Holidays,” is designed for high school students. The activity is accessible as a PDF at this link. The resource can be used in a variety of settings, including structured groups, individual sessions, or as a classroom station activity. All that is required is to print the pages and gather writing utensils.

Step 1: Introduce the Concept of the Self-Controller

Begin by reviewing the Self-Controller metaphor. This could be as simple as prompting students: “Imagine you have an internal remote that helps you manage your emotions or reactions.” Discuss times when it feels easy or hard to use this controller. Connecting the concept to students’ lived experiences, such as feeling stressed while shopping for gifts, worrying about family gatherings, or trying to juggle schoolwork with holiday events, grounds the lesson in reality.

A visual anchor—such as drawing a remote control on a whiteboard—can make the idea more accessible. Prompt discussion with questions like:

• When do you notice needing to pause or take a breath during the holidays?
• What buttons might your remote have (e.g., pause, rewind, fast forward, mute)?

Step 2: Distribute and Preview the Printable Activity

Hand out the “Using our Self-Controller at the Holidays” PDF to students. Provide a brief overview of the task. The activity (found here) is a matching exercise in which students pair common holiday scenarios with strategies for self-control.

Encourage students to read all the scenario cards and possible strategies before starting the matching process. Highlight that some situations may have more than one appropriate strategy but to think about the “best fit” for each situation as a way to spark discussion.

Step 3: Facilitate Group or Independent Matching

Facilitate students in matching the scenario and strategy cards. Depending on the group’s skill level, students can complete this individually, collaboratively in pairs, or as a larger group discussion. For students who need more scaffolding, model matching one example together before releasing them to work independently.

Monitor as they match—for example, a scenario might involve “being annoyed by a sibling during a family gathering.” Encourage students to discuss and justify why a certain self-control strategy fits the situation best. This logic-building enhances transfer of skills.

If time allows, ask students to brainstorm additional strategies not found in the list, or have them generate their own holiday-specific scenarios and match strategies they use or would like to try.

Step 4: Discuss Strategies and Personalize

After matching, invite each student or group to share a favorite scenario-strategy pair. Open the floor for reflection on personal experience. Ask guiding questions such as:

• Can you think of a time during the holidays when you acted before thinking? What might have helped?
• Which strategy feels most useful for you and why?

Encourage students to relate these strategies to their home life, extracurriculars, or part-time jobs. Making the application explicit increases the relevance of the skill. Reinforce the idea that self-control is an ongoing practice, especially in triggering or overstimulating settings like the holidays.

Step 5: Optional Written Reflection or Role Play

If time permits, extend the activity by asking students to write about a holiday situation where they successfully used their Self-Controller or wish they had. Alternatively, set up brief role plays, using scenario cards to act out the challenge and demonstrate using a strategy. This type of performance-based rehearsal can be especially powerful for teens who learn by doing.

Supporting Using Your Self-Controller After the Activity

Skill generalization is critical for students who struggle with regulation. After the printable activity, support continued practice with the following strategies:

• Post the list of self-control strategies in the classroom or send a copy home for families
• Reference the “Self-Controller” language during natural holiday events at school (assemblies, parties, final exams)
• Use check-ins, journaling, or apps to prompt reflection before and after high-stakes situations
• Practice quick mindfulness or breathing exercises as transition routines
• Partner with families to reinforce the Self-Controller concept, suggesting they ask students to pause and consider their controller when home tensions rise
• Create ongoing opportunities for students to add new scenarios or strategies as the season progresses

Regular reminders, visuals, or language prompts help keep this skill present in students’ minds outside of structured lessons.

Wrapping Up: Building Holiday Readiness Through Self-Regulation

The holidays can be both joyful and overwhelming for high school students, who are rapidly developing independence and facing complex social and family expectations. Building habits of self-regulation, through accessible tools like the “Self-Controller,” ensures students have practical ways to manage stress and make positive choices. Everyday Speech’s no-prep printable resource offers clinicians and educators a clear, student-friendly path to practice these skills before challenges arise. With simple, ongoing reinforcements and collaborative discussion, students not only prepare for the unique demands of the holiday season but also strengthen self-control abilities that support success throughout the year.