Inviting other children to play is one of the most important early steps in building and maintaining friendships. In elementary settings, playground interactions set the stage for how students connect, support one another, and create an inclusive school community.

Related resources: See our full list of social skills lessons.

Many children need direct and clear practice with recognizing how inviting language can promote new friendships and make everyone feel like they belong. Everyday Speech’s “Inviting Others to Play” activity provides a practical way for students to explore these concepts using real-life examples and interactive sorting.

What Are Play Skills?

Play skills involve the discrete abilities required to participate effectively and positively in group games and social activities. These skills span a wide range of behaviors and knowledge, including: taking turns, collaborating, sharing, resolving conflicts, reading social cues, and using language to include or invite others.

For many elementary students, joining games and making friends does not happen automatically. Some need explicit instruction to learn phrases and actions that make them approachable peers and effective group members. The ability to invite others to play—using appropriate and kind language—is essential for forming and maintaining peer relationships. When children recognize the difference between kind and unkind invitations, they can build friendships and contribute to a positive classroom climate.

Why Teach Play Skills?

Focusing on play skills, especially those related to inviting others, addresses several key student needs and benefits both individuals and the broader school community.

Some reasons to teach these skills include:

• Students who feel included on the playground are more likely to enjoy school and show positive attitudes toward learning.
• Clear instruction around playing kindly helps prevent social isolation and exclusion.
• Learning specific phrases for inviting others builds communication competence.
• Practice recognizing unkind language develops empathy and self-awareness.
• Improved play skills support students with friendship challenges, social anxiety, or language delays.
• Inclusive play directly supports classroom engagement and a respectful community culture.

Students who receive guided practice with real-life examples become better equipped to independently generalize these skills throughout the school day.

Lesson Plan: Using Inviting Others to Play

The “Inviting Others to Play” activity provides a no-prep way to introduce, model, and reinforce vocabulary and concepts central to inclusive play.

Step 1: Preview the Concept of Inclusion

Begin by framing the concept of including others and why it matters. Use classroom language that is developmentally appropriate, such as: “When we are on the playground, it feels good to have someone ask us to play,” and, “Our words can help everyone feel welcome and excited to join.”

Encourage students to share times when they were included or left out. Validate any feelings connected to these experiences and use them to build motivation for practicing kind invitations.

Step 2: Introduce the Sorting Activity

Present the “Inviting Others to Play” activity, either as a printed document for hands-on sorting or by projecting it for a group activity. Explain that the class will look at different things kids might say on the playground and decide if those things are kind (make others feel included) or unkind (might make someone feel left out).

Review the structure of the sorting chart, pointing out the columns for “Kind” and “Unkind” phrases. Pause to let students predict what some examples might be before beginning the sort.

Step 3: Model Sorting Language

Read a few sample phrases aloud, such as “Do you want to play at recess today?” or “I don’t want you on my team at recess.” Ask students, “How do you think someone would feel if they heard this?” Prompt students to physically move the phrase (cut and glue, if using printables) or indicate its place in the correct side of the chart in a digital or whole group format.

Use visual or verbal supports for students who may struggle with concepts like tone or intent. For example, clarify that even if a person does not mean to be hurtful, some phrases still feel unkind. Link the discussion back to feelings: “When we hear kind words, how does our heart feel?”

Step 4: Engage in Group Practice

Have students work through additional phrases, either as a large group, in small teams, or as partners. Encourage peer discussion about why certain phrases are kind or unkind. Remind students to use thinking prompts like, “Would this make someone feel happy to play?” or “Could these words make someone feel left out?”

Examples of phrases from the PDF include:

• Kind: “Hi, do you want to play with us?”
• Kind: “Do you want to be on my team?”
• Unkind: “I’m going to play with other friends.”
• Unkind: “You can’t play with us.”

Monitor for misunderstanding or confusion. Reinforce reasoning with gentle corrections as needed.

Step 5: Reflect and Extend Practice

Wrap up the activity by reflecting as a group. Invite students to think about which kind phrases they would like to try at recess or during upcoming playtimes. Ask questions like, “Who’s someone you could invite to play this week?” or “What is another kind way you could ask someone to join in?”

Optionally, create a classroom anchor chart with favorite kind phrases. Refer to this visual support throughout the week to remind students of inclusive options they can use every day.

Supporting Play Skills After the Activity

Providing ongoing supports is critical for students as they begin to use new language during less structured times, such as recess. Carry-over of inviting others to play often requires prompts, reinforcement, and collaborative efforts from all school staff involved with the student.

Some strategies for supporting play skills following the activity include:

• Greet students prior to recess and provide a simple script or phrase they can practice using.
• Arrange play partners intentionally to help shy or hesitant students gain confidence inviting others.
• Give positive feedback when students attempt to invite a peer, even if the phrase isn’t perfect. For example, acknowledge the effort: “I noticed you invited Matthew to join your game today.”
• Role-play specific playground situations as part of ongoing small group sessions.
• Offer gentle reminders in the moment: “Remember, you can say, ‘Do you want to play with me?’”
• Use a checklist or token system for students who respond well to concrete reinforcement.
• Collaborate with recess monitors and paraprofessionals to prompt or praise inclusive language in real time.

Additionally, encourage students to notice others who may be standing alone or seem unsure about joining play. Many times, simple awareness leads to opportunities for prosocial behavior and new friendship connections.

Wrapping Up: Building an Inclusive Playground Culture

Fostering play skills is a cornerstone of strong friendship development in elementary school. When students learn to use kind, inclusive phrases on the playground, they help shape an environment where every child feels valued and eager to participate. The “Inviting Others to Play” activity provides a structured, interactive way to practice these important skills and lay the foundation for more positive group interactions.

By taking the time to explicitly teach and reinforce how inviting language sounds, educators can support students who may struggle to build friendships and encourage a culture of kindness and welcome throughout the school. Make this sorting activity a regular part of your routine, and continue nurturing inclusive vocabulary and practices all year long.