Self-regulation remains a cornerstone of successful learning and social interaction in high school. Many students face new stressors and challenges at this stage, including academic demands, extracurricular obligations, and complex peer dynamics.

The skill of using one’s Self-Controller becomes increasingly essential as students navigate greater independence, digital distractions, and heightened emotional experiences. The ‘Keeping Your Self-Control’ activity offers clinicians a no-prep way to teach and reinforce strategies that help students pause, manage their feelings, and respond thoughtfully to daily challenges.

What Is Using Your Self-Controller?

Using your Self-Controller is at the heart of self-regulation. The concept refers to the internal process students use to pause before reacting, consider options, and choose responses that are safe, appropriate, and aligned with their values and goals. The Self-Controller metaphor is particularly useful for high school students, as it connects abstract emotional regulation to the familiar experience of using a remote control or settings tool. This empowers students to visualize and enact control over their actions and reactions—even when feelings run high.

The skill involves several components:

• Recognizing cues that indicate rising emotions or impulses
• Pausing before reacting to those emotions
• Accessing a “toolbox” of self-management strategies (like deep breathing, positive self-talk, or requesting a break)
• Choosing a helpful and safe response

Students who master this skill develop greater resilience, leadership, and capacity for positive relationships, both inside and outside the classroom.

Why Teach Using Your Self-Controller?

Adolescence is marked by increasing responsibility and shifting relationships. Focusing on the Self-Controller skill with high school students supports their growth in key areas:

• Enhances emotional awareness and self-advocacy
• Builds resilience in the face of stress, frustration, or disappointment
• Reduces impulsive actions and social conflicts
• Supports positive decision-making and problem solving
• Increases academic engagement by promoting focus and handling distractions
• Fosters healthy peer and adult relationships
• Equips students for transitions such as college, work, or independent living
• Provides structures for navigating digital interactions and social media challenges

By making the process of self-control explicit and actionable, clinicians help students identify their triggers, recognize when they need to slow down, and access coping strategies in real time.

Lesson Plan: Using Keeping Your Self-Control

The ‘Keeping Your Self-Control’ resource (accessible as a free PDF here) is designed for high school students. The no-prep format allows clinicians to implement it in individual or group sessions without elaborate materials or planning.

Step 1: Introduce the Self-Controller Concept

Begin by exploring the Self-Controller metaphor. Explain that, like a remote for a TV or game console, everyone has an inner controller that helps them manage their actions, even when emotions are strong.

• Ask students about situations where they wish they could “pause” or “rewind” their reactions.
• Use analogies students relate to, such as turning the volume down on frustration or choosing a different channel when angry thoughts arise.
• Clarify that the Self-Controller does not mean ignoring feelings, but allows someone to pause and make a thoughtful choice.

Step 2: Review the Worksheet and Directions

Present the ‘Keeping Your Self-Control’ worksheet as a roadmap for the session. Walk through the structure:

• A relatable situation prompt where emotion or frustration might rise (such as disagreements, receiving critical feedback, or stressful classroom moments)
• Steps to identify feelings as they arise
• Guided options for pausing, accessing supports, and choosing a response
• Visual and textual cues that reinforce the Self-Controller metaphor

Ask students what stands out or feels relevant in their lives. Provide reassurance that self-control is a skill that can be built with practice, not an innate talent a person either has or does not have.

Step 3: Scenario Role-Play and Discussion

Invite students to select or create a scenario from their own experiences. Examples could include:

• Feeling hurt by a friend’s comment online
• Getting back a lower-than-expected grade on a test
• Managing frustration during a group project

Role-play the scenario, but pause at the moment when strong emotion surfaces. Guide the student to reference their Self-Controller at this moment:

• What are the signs that their “controller” should be engaged? (e.g., a fast heartbeat, tense muscles, racing thoughts)
• What options do they have using their Self-Controller? (e.g., pause, take a breath, ask for a moment)
• Which supports could help in the moment? (e.g., reminding oneself of strengths, reaching out to a trusted adult)

Allow students to practice using language from the worksheet: “I can pause. I can make a helpful choice. I have more than one way to respond.”

Step 4: Identify Individual Self-Controller Strategies

Guide students through personalizing their toolbox. Encourage brainstorming coping strategies, considering both in-the-moment tactics and long-term habits that support regulation.

Examples include:

• Deep breathing exercises
• Thoughtful self-talk (e.g., “I can get through this”)
• Requesting a break from a stressful environment
• Using a grounding technique, like noticing five things they can see or hear
• Writing down feelings before responding
• Consulting a previously written list of coping strategies

Record these ideas on the worksheet or in a personal journal. Having a written plan increases the likelihood that students will access their supports under stress.

Step 5: Debrief and Encourage Reflection

Close the lesson by inviting students to reflect on what felt easy, difficult, or surprising about using their Self-Controller. Prompts include:

• When is it toughest to pause before reacting?
• Who or what supports can help you use your controller?
• What does it feel like after making a thoughtful choice?

Encourage students to set an intention for the day or week regarding when they might practice using their Self-Controller.

Supporting Self-Controller Use After the Activity

Developing self-regulation skills requires ongoing support and reinforcement. Clinicians and educators can assist students by:

• Integrating visual cues (posters, reference cards) in common spaces or classrooms
• Embedding Self-Controller check-ins in academic or counseling sessions
• Modeling use of the Self-Controller by narrating moments when pausing or choosing a response
• Facilitating peer discussion groups focused on self-regulation challenges and solutions
• Acknowledging growth and effort, not just perfect outcomes
• Providing daily or weekly reflection prompts (“Did you use your controller today? How did it help?”)
• Involving families by sharing the Self-Controller language and examples to create consistency at home

Encourage staff across the building to adopt a common language around self-control, so students hear consistent messages and expectations from multiple adults.

Wrapping Up: Empowering High Schoolers With Their Self-Controller

Teaching high school students to use their Self-Controller equips them with tangible skills for both academic and personal success. With structured practice, reflection, and ongoing support, students develop greater confidence in managing stress, resolving conflicts, and accomplishing their goals. The ‘Keeping Your Self-Control’ activity makes implementation simple for clinicians seeking effective, relatable tools for self-regulation. Access the no-prep resource here and incorporate it into your sessions to foster a school environment where every student has the strategies needed to navigate challenges thoughtfully and with self-assurance.