Navigating social interactions becomes increasingly complex during high school, especially when it comes to managing feelings, understanding others, and acting appropriately in situations that involve romantic interest. Perspective taking is a foundational life skill that supports young people in these contexts.

The ‘Crush Dos and Don’ts’ worksheet from Everyday Speech is a practical tool for educators, counselors, SLPs, and other school-based clinicians who wish to guide students through understanding the perspectives and boundaries involved when a student develops a crush.

What Is Perspective Taking?

Perspective taking involves the ability to see a situation from another person’s point of view. This skill goes beyond simply recognizing someone else’s feelings. It means understanding how someone’s experiences, thoughts, and feelings might influence their reactions and behaviors. In high school, perspective taking is especially important, as peer relationships deepen and social navigation becomes more nuanced.

Being able to take someone else’s perspective allows students to adjust their own actions, express empathy, communicate more effectively, and form positive relationships. In the case of developing a crush on someone, perspective taking enables students to consider how their words and behaviors might be received, and what boundaries should be respected to maintain a supportive, safe environment.

Why Teach Perspective Taking?

Students who develop strong perspective taking skills benefit in multiple ways. When perspective taking is woven into lessons, students grow socially, emotionally, and academically. Some of the chief reasons to teach this skill include:

• Supports respectful interactions and healthy boundaries across a range of social situations.
• Helps prevent misunderstandings and social conflicts, especially in sensitive situations involving feelings.
• Encourages empathy, which is linked to higher peer acceptance and positive mental health outcomes.
• Enhances problem-solving and decision-making, since students can predict possible reactions from others.
• Reduces social stress and anxiety by equipping students with tools for navigating tricky scenarios.
• Fosters a more inclusive and supportive school culture.

The ‘Crush Dos and Don’ts’ worksheet provides a structure for addressing all these areas in the context of crushes and romantic interest, which can be a confusing and sensitive topic for high school students.

Lesson Plan: Using Crush Dos and Don’ts

The ‘Crush Dos and Don’ts’ worksheet is a no-prep printable resource designed to help students think through the appropriate and inappropriate ways to handle crushes, with a focus on understanding the other person’s perspective.

The worksheet prompts students to identify respectful actions when they have a crush and cautions against behaviors that can make others uncomfortable. Access the worksheet at Everyday Speech: Download the Crush Dos and Don’ts PDF.

Step 1: Introduce the Topic and Context

Start by creating a safe and respectful space for discussion. Ask students about the kinds of emotions and actions that come up when someone has a crush on a peer. Normalize feelings of attraction and curiosity, and acknowledge that managing these feelings can be challenging. Highlight that understanding the other person’s comfort is a key part of being a thoughtful community member.

Frame the lesson as a way to build insight into how one’s words and actions are received, with the goal of helping everyone feel respected and comfortable.

Step 2: Review the Worksheet Sections Together

Distribute the ‘Crush Dos and Don’ts’ worksheet. Walk through the format as a group, pointing out that it is divided into a “Dos” column and a “Don’ts” column. Clarify that the “Dos” are respectful, kind choices that show a consideration of another person’s feelings, while the “Don’ts” are actions that can cross boundaries and make others feel uneasy.

Invite students to scan the worksheet and share their initial reactions. If needed, provide definitions for any unfamiliar words or phrases, such as ‘personal boundaries,’ ‘mutual interest,’ or ‘privacy.’

Step 3: Small Group or Partner Discussion

Break students into small groups or pairs. Instruct them to read each ‘Do’ and ‘Don’t’ on the worksheet, and discuss:

• What might the other person think or feel if someone made this choice?
• Are there situations when a ‘Do’ might feel uncomfortable or a ‘Don’t’ isn’t so clear-cut?
• How can someone check in with a peer to see if their approach is respectful?

This collaborative step deepens students’ understanding of why perspective taking matters, as they put themselves in the shoes of others and consider unintended effects.

Step 4: Whole Group Reflection and Application

Regroup and facilitate a classroom discussion that focuses on applying the content. Consider using prompts such as:

• Why is it important to think about how someone else might feel when you have a crush?
• What are some signs that someone is uncomfortable with a certain behavior?
• How might you handle it if you realize you made someone feel uncomfortable?
• What are positive ways to balance your own feelings with respecting others?

Model appropriate responses and validate student contributions. Share that perspective taking does not mean ignoring one’s own feelings, but rather making sure actions consider everyone involved.

Step 5: Independent or Written Extension

Invite students to complete the worksheet individually, circling or noting which Dos and Don’ts stand out to them. Ask them to reflect in writing on a time when they either thoughtfully considered another person’s comfort in a similar situation or realized, after the fact, that their actions might not have aligned with perspective taking.

Offer a space for anonymous questions about crushes, relationships, or boundaries, letting students know that these topics are important and normal to navigate.

Supporting Perspective Taking After the Activity

Developing perspective taking is an ongoing process. Classroom activities like the ‘Crush Dos and Don’ts’ worksheet provide a starting point, but reinforcing the skills over time leads to stronger understanding. Here are strategies to continue supporting students:

Encourage Reflection:
Give students regular opportunities to reflect on their social interactions. This can be built into advisory periods, homeroom check-ins, or even quick exit slips where students think about how their actions might have made someone else feel that day.

Model Perspective Taking:
Adults in the school community can intentionally model perspective taking. For instance, teachers, counselors, and clinicians can verbalize their own thought processes: “I’m thinking about how my words might come across to you right now,” or “Let me check in with you to make sure you feel comfortable with this assignment.”

Revisit and Re-Teach:
Return to the topic periodically and use new situations students are experiencing as learning opportunities. When students report hurt feelings, conflicts, or confusion, use those moments to guide a conversation about what each person might have been experiencing or thinking.

Integrate Into Peer Mediation:
If the school has a peer mediation or conflict resolution program, encourage the use of the worksheet’s language to help parties understand each other’s intentions and feelings.

Provide Visual Supports:
Post reminders around shared spaces using language from the worksheet — such as “check in before sharing personal feelings” or “respecting privacy matters.” Visual cues serve as subtle ongoing reminders of respectful behavior.

Offer Individual Support:
For students who need extra practice, consider one-on-one role-plays or video modeling. These approaches break down perspective taking into manageable steps and reinforce it with feedback and repetition.

Wrapping Up: Building Perspective Taking for Lifelong Relationships

Mastering perspective taking as a high school student lays the groundwork for healthy friendships, positive romantic relationships, and successful communication well into adulthood. Using tools like the ‘Crush Dos and Don’ts’ worksheet makes this process relatable and concrete, especially during adolescence when emotions can feel overwhelming and boundaries may be new territory.

By walking through the Dos and Don’ts and reflecting on how approaches might affect others, students not only protect and uplift their peers but also prepare themselves for situations beyond high school. When students have repeated practice thinking from someone else’s point of view, they are more equipped to handle disagreements, resolve misunderstandings, and build authentic connections.

Continued reinforcement of these skills will pay dividends throughout the school year. When educators, school counselors, SLPs, and psychologists collaborate to teach and model perspective taking, students gain the confidence and competence to build stronger, more respectful relationships — one thoughtful choice at a time.