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Accepting a Consequence

High levels of fear and anxiety around a punishment can cause behavior to spiral out of control. Children who are coached in maintaining respect for others while calmly accepting both the natural and imposed consequences of their behavior quickly learn the benefits of their new actions; less punishment, lectures, and conflict.

Preview an SEL skills lesson: Accepting a Consequence

1 Show the video to your students

Narrator: A consequence is something that happens after a behavior. It can be positive or negative. For example, if we give someone a compliment, the consequence will be that they feel happy and think we are nice. That is a positive consequence. If we misbehave in school, we could get in trouble. This is a negative consequence. When we have negative consequences, the best thing to do is accept it. We may feel bad, but we should try to stay calm and listen.

Let’s watch Christine learn to accept her consequence.

 

<SCENE 1 – Christine is using her phone during class. Other students are busy doing their assignment.>

Teacher: (approaches Christine) Christine, it’s not time to use our phone right now. Please put it away and work on the assignment.

Christine: (puts away phone, starts doing assignment)

Teacher: (walks away)

Christine: (checks to see if the teacher is looking, takes phone out and starts using it again)

Teacher: (approaches Christine again) Christine, this is the second time I’m asking you. If I have to ask you a third day, I’m going to have to take your phone away. That’s our school rule.

Christine: Okay. (puts phone away)

Teacher: (walks away)

Christine: (checks to see if the teacher is looking, takes phone out and starts using it again)

Teacher: (aproaches Christine again) This is the third time, Christine. I’m going to have to take your phone for the day.

Christine: (upset) No, it’s my phone! You can’t take it! It’s mine!

Teacher: I’m going to have to talk to your mom about this.

 

Narrator: There was a negative consequence for Christine’s actions. Christine kept using the phone, so the consequence was the teacher took it away. Let’s see how Christine is feeling.

Christine: (thought bubble) That is so unfair! The phone belongs to me!

Narrator: Christine feels upset. She did not accept the consequence her teacher gave her. She is making her problem even worse by yelling in class. What do you think will happen if she continues? She could get into more trouble. Christine made her classmates feel uncomfortable by disrupting the class while they’re working. When she didn’t accept the consequences of her actions, she made the problem bigger. Let’s watch Christine accept the consequence.

 

<SCENE 2 – Christine is using her phone during class.>

Teacher: (approaches Christine) That’s third time, Christine. I’m going to have to take your phone.

Christine: (internal thought) I’m so upset! I want to keep my phone! (takes a deep breath) If I yell in class, I might get into even more trouble. And that is the rule. I guess I should just accept that I can’t have my phone right now.

Christine: Okay. (hands phone to teacher)

Teacher: You can have it back at the end of the day.

Christine: (nods, starts to work on assignment)

 

Narrator: That time, Christine took a deep breath and accepted her consequence. She was still feeling upset, but she did not yell and disrupt the class. She knew that there was nothing else to do but listen. She will get her phone back later.

 

When we get a negative consequence like losing our phones, it can feel really bad. The best thing to do is to stay calm and just accept it. We will only make things worse by losing control. Next time, use your strategies to stay calm and accept the consequence.

 

2 Review with the Companion Worksheet
3 Apply new skills with activities & games!

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Other SEL materials on Accepting a Consequence
Accepting a Consequence Introduction Video
Accepting a Consequence Introduction

Pre-k and K

Accepting a Consequence Question Prompts Activity
Accepting a Consequence Question Prompts

Pre-k and K