Circle of Control for Teens: What You Can and Can't Control
This session includes circle of control activities, helping older students manage stress by sorting a worry into what they can and cannot control. They start with a guiding question, then discuss a familiar example like a looming test to see where their energy is best spent. A quick game asks them to weigh a situation and its possible response and decide which parts are worth acting on. The takeaway: focusing on what is in reach builds a real sense of agency.
Extension activity
- Skill
- Self-Regulation
- Goal
- Managing Stress
- Grade level
- Middle & High School
Get everything you need to teach the skill
These materials are part of a no-prep session designed by our clinical team, with all the structure, scaffolding, and support you need to teach included.
Engaging materials
Video lessonWhat You Can and Can't Control
In this video lesson, students learn how to let go of what they can't control by identifying what is in their control, shifting their focus, practicing mindfulness, and trusting the process.
- Extension activity
What You Can and Cant Control Discuss
In this quote discussion activity, students read a Maya Angelou quote about not letting events outside their control define them and explain what it means to them, individually or as a group.
Plus everything you need to teach them
Warm-up
- Video: 4-7-8 Breathing2:13
- Video: Obstacles into Opportunities Visualization1:19
- Video: Yoga Pose Library
Session Opener
Guiding Question: How can a person increase agency?
Practice
- Discussion Question
- Role-Play Activity
- Mini Game
How to use it with your students
- 1Watch Play the video lesson so students see the skill in action.
- 2Practice Try the skill together with a discussion prompt, role-play, or mini game.
- 3Extend Use the extension activity to help students carry the skill further.
What's Covered
In this lesson, students learned the difference between what they can control, like their own thoughts, actions, and behaviors, and what they can't, like other people's choices or the world around them. They practiced sorting real situations into these two groups and shifting their focus toward what stays in their control. This matters because trying to control everything tends to add stress, while letting go of what we can't change can ease it.
Key Terms
- Locus of Control
- Your sense of how much your own actions shape what happens to you, versus how much outside forces decide it. Noticing this helps you focus your energy on what you can actually control and let go of what you can't.
- Letting Go of Control
- Releasing your grip on the things you can't change, like other people's actions or how a situation turns out. You accept that life won't always go as planned and trust that you'll be okay anyway.
Sample IEP Goal This Session Supports
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Managing Stress
Learner will recognize signs of stress in their own body or thinking (e.g., tight chest, racing thoughts, feeling overwhelmed) and apply a self-selected strategy (e.g., deep breathing, positive self-talk, taking a break) to manage the feeling in 4 out of 5 opportunities independently/given X prompt(s).
Send this tip home to support generalization
At home or in the classroom, when a student is worrying about something, try asking what part of it is actually up to them and what part isn't. Naming the difference out loud can make a worry feel more manageable.
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More Self-Regulation Activities
Frequently asked questions
Is this intervention free?
Yes, this ready-to-teach session on What You Can and Can't Control is free. You can access this intervention free for 14 days through the Everyday Speech Session Library. Every user gets three free sessions, but you can get more or extend your access by sharing the Session Library with friends and colleagues.
What ages is this for?
These materials are designed for middle and high school students.
What's included?
You'll get access to your choice of warm-up videos, a session opener, a core material on What You Can and Can't Control, three practice prompts, and an extension activity, What You Can and Cant Control Discuss.
What skill does this intervention teach?
This ready-to-teach session is on self-regulation - more specifically, managing stress.
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